Yagami Kumi - EX SKE48 Team S member - 06.13
This post may hurt a bit, but it must be done.
I thought to write something, since today is her birthday, and I want to remember her forever, in every way, in every age and everytime.
I don’t want to be an heartbreaker, so I’ll go straight to the point:
I miss her. I miss her so bad, that everytime I talk about SKE, her face pops up in my mind, and I cannot do anything but cry :/ Or at least, tears go by their own way.
It’s a bit selfish, but I would have prefer to see her more, to know her more.. In some ways, I didn’t want to “Break up” what she had with fans, with us, even if she didn’t write a lot ( x°D )..
Still, on the other hand, when I think about her life now, when I think about her dreams and her aims, I feel really good, because I know for sure that she is feeling good.
As you know, Idol’s career it’s not wonderful: they don’t sleep much, do lot of work, have few holidays, must respect a diet, an appearance.. And also (especially) take care of us.
Even though I love Idols, everytime I think about it, I’d like to quit because I take part to their “suicide”.. But still, this is what they want to do.
For Kumi, not anymore, and I’m really ok with this.
Since Gaishi hall of last year, I saw her “feeling down” more and more; seeing those dark circles under her wonderful eyes, on her sweet face made me feel guilty in some way.
After she left, she came back only once for the last handshake: she was shining, she had a wide beautiful and satisfied smile that made me fall in love with her again, and again.. Even deeply.
This made me understand how much she craved for that life, even if she is surely missing us, as we do.
So.. This year, and maybe for the next ones too, we couldn’t say “happy birthday” directly to her, but, in my heart, I believe she will always feel it.
Thank you Kuumin, for every memory, every funny moment, everytime you moved us, everytime you showed your “normal you” (a fangirl LOL), every tear, every laugh.. Thank you for choose me as your fan, and for giving me love and hope.
Ps: I ended up being heartbreaker.. Sorry ;A;